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My Nude Vacation: Day Three at the Island House in Key West

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In which an aging, overweight NeverNude goes to a clothing optional resort and confronts his worst fears.

vacation the Ukrainian problem Roosters nude resort nevernudes Key West Island House gogo boys confronting your fears body issues

vacation the Ukrainian problem Roosters nude resort nevernudes Key West Island House gogo boys confronting your fears body issues DAY 3:

Poolside, Island House, Key West. I am perched on the edge of my lounge chair. Coiled, like a cobra. Ready to strike. Every muscle taut.

My senses are heightened. Nothing escapes my eagle-eyed gaze. I quickly scan the crowd, looking to pre-identify the body fascists, the bitchy alpha-queens, and the poolside bullies who will impede my mission.

All clear.

I sniff the wind. A soft breeze coming from the west at 2… no 3 knots… carrying with it the sickly sweet mixture of Coppertone, Hibiscus, and old butt.

Waiting, waiting.

Breathing in. Breathing out.

All my life has been leading to this moment.

By God, I’m really going to do this.

My moment is now.

Are you watching, world? It’s ME! James St James!

Look upon my nakedness! Behold the glory, the MAJESTY, of my potbellied, flatassed, hairy-shouldered, pancake-nipped 47-year-old body!

Gape, if must! Gawk, if you will! Take it all in!

I! Don’t! Care!

With a flourish, I stand and toss aside my sarong and calmly wade into the water, NAKED AS THE DAY I WAS BORN.

One step, two step, three step, four. I’m in. I’m doing this. I’m fine. I’mfineI’mfineI’mfine.

Head underwater, I swim to the far end and back again.

Triumphantly, I get out, towel dry, then oh-so-casually look around to gauge the reaction, see the look on everyone’s faces…

And… nothing.

Not one person was even looking at me. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.

No gasping. No gagging. No screams of terror.

On the flip side: There was no applause, no “good job, James.”

Just the clinking of mimosas, the squirting of lotion, and the endless titter of queens on vacation.

Hmmm. Can a moment be extaordinary and revolutionary and life-changing and LIFE-AFFIRMING if… it passed by unnoticed? Are there such things as quiet victories? Private successes? I guess. This is my first time experiencing one, though. I head back to my room, alone, a little let down, but relieved. And I can’t stop smiling for the rest of the morning.

 

PREVIOUSLY: DAY 2:

Goddamn roosters.

Have we talked about Key West’s rooster problem? They’re everywhere, everywhere. Running hither and yon. Darting in and out of traffic like they’ve got good sense. Which they don’t. No sense at all. They have complete run of the island, you know – “honored citizens” they’re called – after a law was passed protecting them from cockfighters (apparently this was quite the cockfighting hub back in the day)

And now…

Now they gather under my balcony at sundown and collectively cockledoodledoo ALL NIGHT LONG. Must be HUNDREDS of them. Maybe three or four. But it’s enough to drive you MAD, especially when you are amped up on 60 vodka Red Bulls (as I was last night) or pitifully hung over (as I am today),

Yes, I went out last night. And the night before. I’ve covered a lot of ground (Club Aqua, 801, Bourbon Street Bar), and I can proudly say I have met every drag queen on the island and felt up every Ukrainian gogo boy (of which there are LOTS of them – there must be some underground railroad smuggling them out of their homeland and into servitude here. Very disturbing). I fell in love a dozen times last night, but then I have a soft spot for straight boys who toy with old men’s hearts.

But that was last night. Today, I’m on my way down to the pool at Island House. GOING SHIRTLESS, which is a big step.

I hate my shoulders, see. They’re weird and sloping, like Billie Jo Armstrong’s (from Green Day). Not a pretty sight. And hair everywhere: Shoulders, back, in my ears. I shouldn’t be telling you this. After 40, though, men become silverback gorillas. It just happens. And you can manscape until the chickens come to roost (under your balcony: 6 PM), I mean, you do what you can – but DEAR GOD, it’s relentless.

I once read that reason why post office workers so often go crazy – “go postal” – is that the mail NEVER ENDS. There’s never a point where you can look around and say “we’re finished here” or “job well done!” There’s never a feeling of accomplishment. It just… keeps… coming…

That’s how it is with my creepy rogue hairs. The manscaping just… never… ends…

But I’m not going to obsess about it today. Nope. That’s not on the agenda. Today, I’m going to go and splash around in the pool and not give a fuck.

I’ll keep you posted.

 

DAY ONE:

I don’t now why going to a nude resort should make me so uncomfortable. I’m a 47-year-old gay man, for cryin’ out loud. Of COURSE I’ve had my wiener out in public before.

I’ve been to tea-rooms and sex bushes. I’ve gone to the Rambles in NYC, the Wall in Miami Beach, and Vaseline Alley in Los Angeles. I’ve been around the block. I know the score. But that was in the ’90s when I was young and fit and, let’s face it, probably off my tits on some mind-altering, inhibition-blocking substance.

Nowadays? That’s just not me. I can’t get naked in public. I’ve got too many body issues.

I’m a big girl now. Woefully overweight. When I pass my reflection in a storefront window? I see Alfred Hitchcock’s silhouette. It’s shocking. Upsetting. I repulse myself.

In gay culture, there are bears and otters and silver foxes, of course. But do you know what they call fat, old, hairless white men?

Manatees.

Yep. I’m a manatee.

And nobody needs to see a naked manatee bobbing in the warm, Florida waters.

Sigh.

So why am I on my way to the Island House in Key West, America’s premiere clothing-optional gay resort? Why would I put myself through this mental anguish? I’ve been asking myself the same thing. Over and over again. I guess it’s a bucket list item. Something I’d never do in a million years… but probably should. I need to confront my fear, conquer my negative body image. Come out of my shell. I’ve been too repressed for too long. After all, my days of swinging from chandeliers and Riverdancing on bars are long gone.

These days, my life consists of blogging, doing my transformations, and going home to watch my stories. Alone. With a bag of Milanos.

It’s a quiet life.

And that’s fine. I like it like that.

But sometimes.

Sometimes.

I want more.

I want to be free again. Unrestrained. Uninhibited. I don’t want to give a shit what people think.

So let’s see what happens. Let’s see if I can do this.

Here we go….

This is part one of a four-day exploration into the darkest depths of my psyche. Will I break? Will I come out the other side a better man? Will I come back to the World of Wonder offices in a thong and nothing else? We’ll see.

The post My Nude Vacation: Day Three at the Island House in Key West appeared first on World of Wonder.

RuPaul in the New York Times

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A fabulous writeup about the one and only supermodel of the world, RuPaul, for the Fashion & Style section of the New York Times!

RuPauls Drag Race RuPaul New York Times Fashion & Style Diana Ross Cher

Driving home, Mr. Charles passed under palm trees and billboards, the kind he would gawk at as a kid visiting from San Diego. “I used to walk up and down Sunset looking at all the billboards: Diana Ross and Cher,” he said. “Back then, every act — big act — had a billboard on Sunset.”

As if on cue, he drove past a billboard for “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” There was the Monster, in vamping mode, posing alongside a panther. He rolled down the window and catcalled into the night sky: “Hey, girl!”

Head over to NYTimes to read the full article on RuPaul!

The post RuPaul in the New York Times appeared first on World of Wonder.

RuPaul, Tom Campbell, and The World According to Wonder Makes Three

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Watch Now: Lohanthony Interviews RuPaul

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the World of Wonder offices The Backlot RuPauls Drag Race Season 6 RuPauls Drag Race Lohanthony Logo TV Born Naked

On the rooftop of the World of Wonder offices in Hollywood Lohanthony sits down to interview his idol RuPaul for an exclusive interview for Logo TV’s Backlot.  The Backlot writes: RuPaul always has her finger on the pulse. In the video interview below she sits down with 14-year-old Anthony Spears, the internet phenom better known to 830,000 YouTube subscribers and more than a million Twitter and Instagram subscribers as Lohanthony. Now partnered with Fullscreen, Lohanthony has already been tapped to co-host the Teen Wolf After, After Show, a companion program for MTV’s Teen Wolf – a series the young vlogger is very passionate about.

Lohanthony is also a huge fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race, which is obvious from his excitement at sitting down with Ru’s alter ego RuPaul Charles

 

The post Watch Now: Lohanthony Interviews RuPaul appeared first on World of Wonder.

Watch FULL Now: RuPaul On The Arsenio Hall Show

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Watch the FULL segment of RuPaul at The Arsenio Hall Show talking about Rupaul’s Drag Race, new album Born Naked and racism vs homophobia.

 

Tonight on TV RuPauls Drag Race RuPaul Arsenio Hall Show Tonight on TV RuPauls Drag Race RuPaul Arsenio Hall Show

Last night, the original Supermodel of the World stopped by The Arsenio Hall Show to get the word out about Season 6 and her new album, Born Naked. RuPaul is hitting the publicity circuit for RuPaul’s Drag Race’s return on February 24 on Logo TV.

The post Watch FULL Now: RuPaul On The Arsenio Hall Show appeared first on World of Wonder.

Damiana Garcia Interviews Adore Delano at the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 Premiere


Rupaul’s New Album Born Naked

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RuPauls Drag Race RuPaul new music iTunes Born Naked

Rupaul’s new and 10th studio album Born Naked will drop on iTunes tomorrow. Here is the cover are and track list.

1. Freaky Money w/Big Freedia

2 . Sissy Dat Walk

3. Geronimo w/Lucian Piane

4. Dance With U

5. Adrenaline w/Myah Marie

6. Can I Get An Amen w/Martha Wash

7. Fly Tonight w/Frankmusik

8. Modern Love

9. Let The Music Play w/Michelle Visage

10. Born Naked w/Clairy Browne

 

The post Rupaul’s New Album Born Naked appeared first on World of Wonder.

Damiana Garcia Interviews April Carrion at the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 Premiere

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Damiana Garcia interviewed the gorgeous boricua beauty April Carrion on the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 premiere red carpet. The two ladies loved each others’ looks, and shared an appreciation for the rich legacy of Puerto Rican queens on Drag Race. More of Damiana’s interviews are coming soon – be sure to subscribe to the Michael Lucid Presents channel!

The post Damiana Garcia Interviews April Carrion at the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 Premiere appeared first on World of Wonder.

Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz Tour Comes to the Staples Center

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Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz tour came to Los Angeles this weekend, and of course I was there to experience the perfection. Read my “review”

tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz

To describe last night in one word I would have to say PERFECTION! Miley Cyrus brought her fun filled Bangerz tour to Los Angeles and turnt the moth f**king party at the Staples Center. First off, Miley sounded and looked ah-may-zing! As soon as M.C. slid down a tongue slide that came out of her mouth, through an enlarged image of her face, projected on the screen, I knew it was all going to be NEXT LEVEL! The show was filled with fun props (like a flying hotdog in which Miley flew on, a gold range rover that she laid on top of spread eagle as she sang “Love, Money, Party,” and a muppet looking monster that she sang “FU” to,) and backup dancers wearing shelariously campy costumes. Let’s get one thing straight, Miley had like nine costume changes…HELLO! N.I.N.E. She sang almost all of the Bangerz album, plus a few extra songs like ”Hey Ya!” “23,” “Can’t Be Tamed,” “Jolene” and closed with”Party In The USA.” Also, in the middle of the show, Miley was joined on stage by the Flaming Lips to perform“Yoshimi.” Miley was literally so excited “You don’t understand what this means right now, I’m so f**king scared.” So excited that they performed it twice in a row!  The venue was full of pre-teens, girls dressed up as Miley, the “cool” mom, the gays, and so on. And we were all there for one reason, and one reason only…to bow DOWN to the Queen! Miley Cyrus wasn’t the only star at the Staples Center that night, celebrities like Katy Perry (who locked lips with Miley during “Adore You”) Khloe Kardashian, Sarah Paulson from American Horror Story, and HILARY DUFF (OMG I was in the same room and Miley Cyrus AND Hilary Duff, I’m dead.) were there feeling the Bangerz fantasy. Case in point, it was the best thing to ever happen EVER. Miley sounded great, she looked great, and the show was lighthearted, fun, and entertaining from start to finish. If you have the opportunity to see Miley live, I would highly suggest it. You. Will. Not. Regret. It. You can bet your A$$ I was  singing  SCREAMING along with Miley the whole time! And to answer ALL of your questions, I did not purchase ALL of the #BangerzMerch as previously stated, but I did get myself two shirts (that I will wear on Fun T-Shirt Friday) and the “explicit” version of the show program. Special shout out to Tom C for joining me at this amazingly perfect event aka the Bangerz tour!

 

tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz tour The Flaming Lips Staples Center Sarah Paulson Miley Cyrus Khloe Kardashian Hilary Duff Bangerz

(Photos by me!)

 

The post Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz Tour Comes to the Staples Center appeared first on World of Wonder.

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Damiana Garcia Interviews Gia Gunn at the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 Premiere

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Damiana Garcia had so much fun interviewing Chicago beauty Gia Gunn on the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 premiere red carpet. They talked about Damiana’s favorite moment from Episode 1, jumping into all that foam, and what to expect from the Season 6 queens. More of Damiana’s interviews are coming soon – be sure to subscribe to the Michael Lucid Presents channel!

The post Damiana Garcia Interviews Gia Gunn at the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 Premiere appeared first on World of Wonder.

Binge Watch ThisRuPaul Presents: The CoverGurlz

It’s Birthday, Bitch


In Shocking News: Robin Thicke and Wife Split

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scandal Robin Thicke Paula Patton Marriage divorce I’m sure no one saw this coming. Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton have decided to call it quits on their nine-year marriage and even longer relationship. I wonder if all of those hands-on pictures of Robin and other women were the boiling point? They share a baby and say their split is amicable. (Photo: Pacific Coast News)

The post In Shocking News: Robin Thicke and Wife Split appeared first on World of Wonder.

Bethenny Gets the Chop

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TV The Chop talk show cancellation Bethenny Frankel Bethenny After a year on the air, Bethenny Frankel’s chat show Bethenny got the chop. Bethenny says this about it:  ”I am relieved… I’m a little over myself and wouldn’t blame anyone else for being over me as well. Unlike my time on Bravo, I felt a bit diluted, filtered and somewhat constricted. I am a free spirit.” Look, it sucks when anyone loses a gig, but Bethenny sure ain’t gonna starve, that is a fact. (Photo: Pacific Coast News)

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Please: I Think We Need An “American” Break

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The American American Wedding American Psycho American Pie american idol American Hustle American Horror Story American Dad American Blood American Beauty American Addict Bradley Cooper is a REAL American – times 4. He’s starred in American Hustle, he’s scheduled to shoot Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper next, and he’s attached to produce and possibly star in the Jay Roach–directed Lance Armstrong movie Red Blooded American. And now he has signed on to produce and star in American Blood. This is RIDICULOUS. Is it a guaranteed US marketing strategy? – put “American” in the title. Do they have a name generator that they just plug in a noun and you get a synopsis and a title? We’ve had American Wedding, American Pie, American Psycho, American Horror Story, American Beauty, American Dad, American Idol, American Addict, and The American. What is left? American Jellybean? American Actress? American Elbow Pain? I think they are really scraping the bottom of the American barrel.

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Newly New: The Standard, East Village

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The Standard Hotel New York East Village The Standard, East Village (as opposed to the High Line location) was formerly The Cooper Square Hotel. The designers re-upped the modern glam quotient on the new 21-story glass tower with amazing unobstructed views of uptown and the East Village. Really spacious rooms, with floor-to-ceiling windows, plus Narcissa, André Balazs and Michelin-starred chef John Fraser’s restaurant, featuring seasonal, local and organic produce from André Balazs’ Hudson Valley farm. This could mean some stiff competition for the nearby Bowery Hotel. Another downtown hipster hangout – next up? SoHo House, East Village.The Standard Hotel New York East Village

The Standard Hotel New York East Village

The Standard Hotel New York East Village The Standard Hotel New York East Village

The Standard Hotel New York East Village

The Standard Hotel New York East Village

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Maya Hayuk: Street Art Takes A Hit

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Shepard Fairey Mayuk Hayuk Kenny Sharf Keith Haring Houston Steet mural graffiti art Over the years, the Houston Street wall in Manhattan has become a touchstone for artists like Keith Haring and Kenny Scharf. It’s an honor to get chosen to do your thing on the wall. Kenny has had his mural tagged by other graffiti artists and the latest painter, Maya Hayuk. She had an unexpected collaboration, clean it up and got hit again, harder. Shepard Fairey’s installation famously got hit so heavily that holes were literally punched into the wall. (Hayuk and myself were contributors to “Take Back the Streets” that was at the New Museum and is now at Wall Play through March 5, along with Fairey & Scharf’s work and 10 other artists.) For some reason, sanctioned street art that gets tagged by other “artists” gets little sympathy. Someone painting on top of your work just feels wrong, no matter where it’s located – unless of course you’re a dick, then I’ll bet, it’s cool.Shepard Fairey Mayuk Hayuk Kenny Sharf Keith Haring Houston Steet mural graffiti art

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